The Plastic Mancunian

I have three nemeses (four if you count my hair). I’ve introduced the first, a certain Captain Paranoia who has been with me all th...

Research can be a dangerous thing. Being a hypochondriac, I should know better; I choose not to use the internet to research symptoms of ...

On Saturday I heard some bad news: I was told that I was “boring” . The accuser didn’t tell me to my face; she did it in a subtle way bu...

The computer is on, the Word document is open and a blank screen sits in front of me. A voice inside my head says: “Well go on then – ty...

Captain Paranoia really annoys me. He has been my nemesis ever since I can remember. I try not to listen to him but sometimes he catches me...

Captain Paranoia is perched on my shoulder. He has been listening to the government, watching the news and reading the tabloids. He has agr...