Survivalism

Welcome to a cloudy but warm South Manchester. 

Yesterday I went to Old Trafford to watch day three of the fourth test match between England and India. It was a perfect day for cricket and a couple of records were broken by England’s Joe Root with the bat. 

We were in a stand where there were loads of Indian fans, including a very loud Bhangra band. The atmosphere was brilliant and we had a lot of fun. 

The match is still going on today (test matches last up to five days) and I will be watching some of it later from the comfort of my own armchair. 

Today’s Sunday Stealing questions look a bit trickier than usual. Let’s dive in and see if we can wrestle them to the ground, shall we?

1. You're on a trip taking a tour through the jungle. You have a backpack with some food, first aid supplies, a pocket knife, a flashlight and a couple bottles of water. Somehow, you get separated from your group. By night fall you haven't found your group and haven't heard them looking for you. How long do you think you would be able to survive on your own?

First of all, I wouldn’t take a trip in the jungle. I have a phobia of spiders and a lot of insects, particularly the ones that sting and bite. Also, I’m not overly keen on snakes and big creatures that can take a huge chunk out of my arm.

But let’s play along.

I’m sure that I would manage to survive for a short time and I would try to look for high ground or a water source. I’m an old git and I don’t think that would help my case either. That said, I am quite fit and I think I could manage to at least try to retrace my steps. That said, I’m no Bear Grylls so I think I might start to struggle when the food or water ran out. It also depends on temperature because I’m not very good in extreme heat. 

I probably wouldn't last too long if I am brutally honest.

2. Do you think it's okay to lie to spare someone's feelings? Why? 

Only if there is no way that you could be found out. I would rather tell somebody the truth than risk them finding out that I had deliberately lied to them, even if lying were an act of kindness. I hate it when people lie to me and, to me, trying to spare my feelings by lying is worse than just being open with me. 

3. If a talking doll were made to resemble you, what 3 phrases would it say?

“Hi there! Are you okay?” is my standard greeting to people so that would be one of them. 

“You’ve got to be joking!” is an expression that I use when I watching the news and something surprises me in a negative way (for example when most politicians open their lying mouths). 

“Do you fancy a brew?” is a phrase I use at home or when I used to work to find out if somebody wants a cup of tea or coffee. However, I also use this phrase when inviting somebody out for a pint at the pub so it serves a dual purpose. 

4. If the super power to be able to read minds at will was possible, do you think it would be... cool and helpful, intrusive and wrong, manipulative or maddening?

I think it would be incredible if I could read people’s minds and I would definitely use it when listening to politicians. However, even though I am a fairly nice, honest guy myself, I would hate to have my own mind read. Therefore I would have to concede that it would be intrusive, wrong, manipulative and maddening. 

If I discovered that I had the ability to actually read people’s minds and couldn't turn it off, then I would try to get a job where it did some good, like exposing the bullshit of politicians or perhaps in some law capacity to discover whether a suspect had actually done something terrible. 

5. Are drunk confessions things people can't bring themselves to say sober or just the crazy ramblings of an influenced and intoxicated mind?

That’s a very good question. I am quite a shy and sensitive person deep down and I rarely if ever expose anyone to my true feelings by confessing, even after a couple of beers. To be honest, when I have beer, I still like to have control of my feelings and it was only when I was a much younger person that I allowed that shield to slip under the influence of alcohol. For me, confessing something when drunk in my youth, was using alcohol to allow me to express my inner feelings by removing the barrier of shyness. 

For example, at the tender age of eighteen, I once confessed my feelings for a young lady and was rejected in the nicest way: “I like you as a friend, Dave. Nothing more!” 

That hurt and I realised that confessing with “Dutch courage” wasn’t a good idea. I stopped doing it for that reason. 

Mind you, I have had people confessing odd things to me when slightly drunk and I can see why some people think that drunken outpourings are just the crazy ramblings of a mind clouded by intoxication. Nevertheless, the phrase “in vino veritas” (“in wine there is truth”) is still relevant and no matter how crazy the nonsense pouring from somebody’s mouth is when they are drunk, there must be some truth in there.