There is a saying that I’ve heard a lot of blokes say and it is this:
“Happy wife, happy life”
I think that this saying is a bit biased towards the female side. Basically, to me, it says, if you keep "‘er indoors" happy then you will get a peaceful life. Nevertheless, there has to be balance in this equation and I am all for balance.
The idea for me is to keep each other happy. If, as a man, you are happy and your significant other is also happy then that is the ideal situation. Life isn’t as simple as that though and this is where compromise comes into that equation.
It helps if you both enjoy the same things but there comes a point when you have to do something that is not your favourite thing to do in order to keep that balance.
I have a couple of examples of this in action.
Recently, when were in Lanzarote, Mrs PM who has just started a new job, asked me what I was going to do when we returned.
“I’ll pop to the cinema to see Captain America: Brave New World” I said. I can do this at any time because I am retired. I don’t mind going to the cinema on my own at all. Mrs PM surprised me and said:
“I’ll come with you if you like. I haven’t been to the cinema for ages.”
I was surprised by this because, although Mrs PM doesn’t mind Marvel films, she usually waits for them to come on the TV rather than going to the cinema. It was only when I checked the cinema listings that something clicked.
“I see that Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy” is on as well,” I said.
Basically Mrs PM doesn’t like going to the cinema on her own at all and she really wanted to go and see it. I had seen the previous Bridget Jones movies but generally I hate romantic comedies and I would never actually watch them on TV let alone pay money to see them.
I sighed and rather than arguing about this I decided, in the name of compromise and balance, to agree to see it with her.
Last Sunday we went to see Captain America together and she enjoyed it. Yesterday we went to see Bridget Jones and she really enjoyed it. There were not that many blokes in the cinema at all and the ones who were, were in the same situation as I was. I did notice there were quite a few groups of three or four women all giggling and crying as the film progressed.
Did I enjoy them?
Captain America was not the greatest Marvel movie I have seen but I enjoyed it, especially when the Red Hulk appeared.
Bridget Jones? I’ve seen them all and I have chuckled at some scenes but it was such a girl movie and I had to try to resist using the sick bag on a couple of occasions (using Newton’s Laws to express your love for somebody? Do me a favour!). The highlight for me was seeing Sally Phillips, who I really like.
I won’t see any Bridget Jones filmsa gain but in the interest of balance I have kept my thoughts to myself. The film was okay but definitely my kind of movie. Mrs PM enjoyed it though and that is all that counts.
Balance has also branched out to music now. During the pandemic when we were locked down in the house, we had to compromise about music. Basically Mrs PM loves dance music and I love rock, prog and heavy metal. Our tastes are quite different. However, we discovered that we have an overlap and we managed to create a joint Spotify playlist that we play very often. You can read about it here:
The playlist has grown since then and we have 436 songs at the time of writing. I never thought that would happen.
In the last couple of years we have extended this idea and actually started going to gigs together, which is something I thought we would never ever do. I have been to hundreds of gigs and Mrs PM would have hated them. Nevertheless we both decided to give ourselves a taste of some bands that we wouldn’t normally see.
And we are doing it again this year.
In the past couple of years, I have seen Alison Goldfrapp and Sophie Ellis-Bextor (although the latter was supporting the Human League who we both like).
In return, Mrs PM saw The Stranglers and The Foo Fighters.
Now I do like the band Goldfrapp, and Alison Goldfrapp as a solo artist did play some of those songs but her newest album is pure dance so it was a little out of my comfort zone. But it was fun. We both loved the Stranglers though and Mrs PM was slightly out of her comfort zone with the Foo Fighters.
This year I have a few gigs planned but Mrs PM is only coming to two of them.
The first is a real blast from my past and hers: Electric Light Orchestra, one of my favourite bands when I was a child. We both love them.
The second is Nine Inch Nails. I jokingly asked her if she would ever see them and she told me yes. They are definitely my type of band and the only thing she might like about them is their more mellow and electronic side. She likes this song for example.
But she will have to put up with this:
I’m not too concerned though because there are a lot of different styles in between plus a few more mellow songs they may perform.
It might just challenge the balance and compromise but I like to think that I can cope if she doesn’t. I am a Libran and the scales are the symbol of my star sign. I don’t believe in all of that nonsense but I do believe in balance and I will try to achieve that no matter what. Let’s just hope she doesn’t hate Nine Inch Nails to the point where I have to see somebody dreadful (and believe me – there are many terrible songs in Mrs PM’s collection).
The gig is in June and she has asked me for a Nine Inch Nails Spotify play list that will give her a taste of what to expect.
Wish me luck.
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