I am being hassled by Facebook.
I've never quite known what to make of Facebook, even though I have tried to understand it. Somebody told me once, that you are effectively off the radar if you are young and not on Facebook.
I’m not young – that makes it okay. I could survive without it. After all, I use it mostly for playing Jungle Jewels and Tetris. I leave the odd message and send the odd email but my life doesn’t revolve around it.
I have managed to acquire a modest number of friends but, if I were more proactive,I could increase that number. Up until now, I haven’t wanted to be proactive.
However, I do find it bizarre that people I don’t know and have never communicated with me in any way whatsoever have the desire to be my friend. My sister has a few hundred friends but doesn’t know all of them – they have befriended her through the games on the website, you know, games where you run a farm or a café.
Why would you run a farm on Facebook?
I have had a few friend requests from people I have never heard of; for example a guy with the same name as me, who presumably is trying to build a community; another from a female biker who I have never met.
A work colleague had a friend request from a girl he had never met but had a mutual friend. He asked his mate who she was.
“I don’t know. I only accepted her because she was fit.”
I do not look for friends on Facebook. If I have a friend request and I know them I will become their friend. I am not proactive and do not seek to be friends with people I see on a regular basis.
There’s no point.
Real friends who are my age refuse to join. They say they are too old. I can’t say I blame them.
My kids, on the other hand, refuse to be my friend because they think I will use it to humiliate them to their mates – I can’t say I blame them – I would humiliate them. And they think I'm too old for them.
I guess that I have been ambivalent towards Facebook really and I can begin to sense you getting frustrated now, dear reader, because you want to know why Facebook is hassling me.
It is not me who is being pestered - it is the Plastic Mancunian, my alter ego.
A while ago, I decided to create a Facebook fan page for the blog but I abandoned that idea fairly quickly. A few weeks ago I decided to create a user called Plastic Mancunian – Facebook didn’t like the name. I tried The Plastic Mancunian; Facebook didn’t like that either.
After experimenting, I came up with ThePlastic Mancunian and it worked.
Having created the user I then asked myself “Why on earth have I created this user?”
I had some weird idea about promoting my blog – the fan page was a bit of a disaster so why would a user work? What on earth was I thinking?
I abandoned the idea and let ThePlastic Mancunian gather dust in cyberspace.
Facebook didn’t like that.
It started sending me emails:
You haven't been back to Facebook recently. Here are some people you may know on Facebook. Connect with friends, family, classmates, and co-workers to see their updates, pictures, and more.
I ignored them.
And then my real Facebook user has been notified.
Hey Dave, You may know ThePlastic Mancunian. Help him find friends
How on earth did that happen?
Finally, three of my other friends have spotted the existence of ThePlastic Mancunian and want to be friends too.
What can I do? I can’t refuse them; they are my friends.
I have come to a decision – which is amazing for an indecisive jerk like me.
I will brush off the dust and allow ThePlastic Mancunian to thrive on Facebook and via this blog and see where it gets me. Who knows he might even acquire more friends than me in which case I won’t hold it against him.
So if you want to become a friend to ThePlastic Mancunian dear reader, feel free. I am sure he will accept.If not then fear not. I won't beat myself up about it - nor ThePlastic Mancunian for that matter.
I might even become his friend myself.
Or maybe I will give up on it – again!
See? Indecisive to the last.