Me, Myself and I

Welcome to another dull Autumn day here in South Manchester. It was a bit drizzly on my walk this morning but now the weather seems to have improved; I can actually see the sun and some blue sky. 

Let’s dive into some silly questions from Sunday Stealing, shall we? 

1. When do I feel most authentically myself

That’s a good question and one that it difficult to answer. I guess it is when I am with close friends and of course Mrs PM. They all know exactly what I am like and they all accept the real me so I can let the barriers down to a certain extent to allow them to see the real me. Don’t get me wrong, when I am in the company of other people who I don’t know so well, they usually get a glimpse of the real me but I am a little reluctant to unleash the real Plastic Mancunian on them – at least until I get to know them better. 

2. What I'm thankful for today

I am thankful that I am retired. I am enjoying it. 

3. A memory I hope I never forget

I have a fairly good memory despite the fact that I am getting older. Mrs PM is always remarking upon trivialities that I recall. I don’t want to forget any happy memories, whether that means my kids, holidays or past events that have made me happy. No particular one memory leaps to mind; they are all important.

4. Other ways I connect with long distant friends

I usually connect with people using WhatsApp these days. I do use things like Facebook and occasionally I connect with long distance mates that way – but rarely. I never write letters and I rarely call people unless it is an emergency. I do have one university mate who I call the Luddite because he still has a phone from the 1990’s – one of those indestructible Nokia 3310 phones that apparently you can still get.

I contact him via text or via email and despite trying to persuade him for years to get a smartphone, he refuses to do so. 

And this guy used to work in IT too. I don’t understand. 

5. How I reconnect with myself when I feel lost

I put on music. 

Music takes me away from life’s problems and ironically when I get lost in the music, I find myself. 

6. What would be my signature drink if I owned a café

I’m boring when it comes to tea and coffee. I have black decaf coffee with no sugar and decaf tea with a hint of skimmed milk and no sugar. I think it would have to be a pure fruit smoothy made of oranges, apples and possibly peach, nectarine or mango. 

7. Something I’ve let go of, as I’ve grown older

I am still a little immature sadly – even at my age (regular readers may well have already guessed this) so I haven’t really let go of anything. I still play PS4/PS5 games for example, I still go to gigs, I still act like an idiot and I laugh at puerile things. 

I guess the only thing I have let go of is doing things that require a burst of adrenaline. Also I don’t play sports now – I just walk. 

8. The things I’m most likely to lie about

I am not that much of a liar (honestly) but there are occasions when I have fibbed about the reasons I don’t want to go out. The truth is that I am too tired but the lie is that “I have stuff to do”. 

9. What’s something I wish I had more time to learn

Everything. People say that it is never too late to stop learning and they are right. But as I pursue Spanish, French and the piano, I honestly wish that I had started about 20 years earlier. I would have been much better now. 

10. Social media trends that puzzle me

“Influencers”.

I’ve seen one in action. We were in Spain having a coffee and this rather attractive lady appeared next to the beach in front of us with a bag full of clothes and a stand. She then changed in the toilet in the café and mounted her phone on a stand taking photos of herself pouting with the sea behind her, while posing in the clothes, before changing them and then repeating. We watched her for about forty minutes. 

She had been either sent clothes or bought them and was posing for her Instragram feed. 

I also heard of an “influencer” who tried to get a free meal at a restaurant saying that he would write a good review on his food because he had several hundred thousand sheep – er sorry people – following him. 

The owner of the restaurant told him to bugger off and this “influencer” threatened to write a bad review as he stormed out. 

The other thing that puzzles me is people posting endlessly about their lives on things like Facebook and Instagram. Do I really want to see what Fred Bloggs is having for breakfast? Or that he feels a little “blessed” today? Or that he is staying in to watch Masterchef instead of going to the pub with his great mates? 

The answer is no!

I do realise that I own a blog and that I sometimes post crap about myself but these guys are in a league of their own. Everything they eat, say and feel is posted ad nauseam every ten minutes so that we can live our mundane meaningless lives through them 24 hours a day. 

Sorry for the minor hypocrisy, dear reader, because I realise that posting about myself on this blog could be construed as this kind of activity. 

11. Local phrases and terms I use often

I don’t really use Mancunian slang because although I have lived here for 40 years I didn’t grow up here as a child. Nevertheless I have picked up a few phrases and words that the folks of Northern England use. 

For example: 

“Butty” which means “sandwich”. 

“Hi, y’alright?”  which is a greeting. 

“I’ll have a brew” which means “I’ll have a cup of tea”

“I had to leg it for the bus” – “I had to run for the bus”.

“Nowt” which means “nothing” (as in “What are you up to?” – “Nowt”). 

“Scran” which means food. 

12. If I could only wear only three colours, I’d pick these...

Any shade of blue, black and red. 

13. Favourite books, music, tv, movies, and media this month

Book: I’ve recently finished “The House at the End of the World” by Dean Koontz

Music: I’ve been listening to the brilliantly titled Powernerd, the new album by Devin Townsend. The title track is quite entertaining (as is the video):

TV: I’ve been enjoying a very good Netflix show called Sense8:

Movies: I haven’t seen any new movies this month so I will just mention the one that I saw last at the cinema (a couple of months ago): Deadpool & Wolverine

Media: Okay – I guess by media, you mean You Tube or something like that. I visit You Tube quite often just to see what is going on or to look at music videos. One of my favourites is a comedian called Tom Walker who has invented character called Jonathan Pie who hates the Conservative party and appears in five minute videos on You Tube showing “outtakes” where he is professionally reading the news but then when they link back to the studio, he embarks upon a five minute expletive filled rant about what he really thinks. Here is his reaction to the UK election that happened four months ago. 

Forrest Trump

Welcome to a dull, grey but dry South Manchester. The sun was shining earlier but now it’s hiding behind a blanket of cloud. 

First of all, can I just ask a question? 

America - what have you done?

Although I suspected that it might happen, I am still shocked to discover that the new president of the United States of America is the same orange malignant narcissist who was kicked out last time. This man is a convicted criminal, a liar and tried his best to incite a riot and stamp all over democracy. He tells lies that would make Boris Johnson blush and somehow people believed the crap coming out of his mouth, crap I hasten to add that people over here laugh at. I wonder how our Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, is going to deal with him. It will be like trying to reason with a toddler. 

Rather him than me, I can tell you.

I’m sorry, dear American readers, but I can’t believe you elected Trump AGAIN! 

Still, I may have some material for future blog posts when the buffoon screws up. 

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. Hobbies I've learned from a friend

I don’t think I have learned any hobbies from friends really. I decided to try my hand at writing on my own and I am teaching myself how to play the piano. Sadly I don’t know anyone else who can play the piano, apart from Mrs PM who is better than me but not much better. I would like to have a Spanish pen pal I guess as I think that would help a lot with Spanish. An American friend of mine suggested a web site for this, so I may well pursue it in future. 

I guess I could say some music that I have discovered over the years is due to a group of lads I go to gigs with – does that count?

2. My physical activity preferences

I used to run, play football and swim but now, as an older gentleman, my physical activity of choice is walking. This is mainly because it wouldn't be easy pursuing such activities at my age. 

Since retirement I have increased the distance I walk and last month I averaged over 10,000 steps per day. I will try to maintain those dizzy heights providing I can find some willpower over the winter months. It helps not having to get up at 6am to be honest. 

3. Music I think is essential for everyone to hear

Progressive rock. Progressive rock typically comprises a musician or group of musicians who play rock music but also experiment with different sounds and different genres. Some people say that it is self-indulgent and while I can see their point, some of the music that springs forth from their creative minds is incredible. 

Here are a couple of examples. First Rush – who introduce a little reggae into the proceedings:

Devin Townsend praises coffee with a little country and a soupcon of heavy metal. 

Dream Theater with some throat singing and a choir and of course some heavy metal:

4. Something I have to relearn every time I do it

As I advance in Spanish, I am trying to get to grips with some of the more complex grammatical rules, particularly some of the idioms and the use of the subjunctive, which seems to be more prevalent in the language than it is in English. 

I have to keep reminding myself of the rules. 

5. When I start thinking about holiday season planning

The term “holiday season” seems to be an American one that includes Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year. In the UK we only have the latter two of those. I usually start thinking about Christmas in vague terms in September, i.e. where am I going to be? Where do we spend Christmas Day? What about New Year’s Eve? So far we know what we are doing over the Christmas period but New Year is still in the dark. 

6. Quirks & preferences I have about writing letters

I don’t write letters. However, if I were to write letters then I would try to make them light-hearted, funny and interesting; something I like to experience myself when I read letters. 

7. If I had to limit my reading to only 3 genres, I’d pick...

I am going to assume you are talking about fiction genres. 

I would select horror, science fiction and political thrillers in the style of Robert Ludlum. 

8. When joining teams, would I rather lead or follow

Both. 

I am quite happy being a follower when the so-called leader knows what he is doing. But over the years I have been frustrated when such people go in the wrong direction (in my opinion) and that is the time when I felt like, and sometimes did actually take over. 

9. What’s my dream concert, and who would be performing

I am going to assume that you mean right now, i.e. not including artists who have retired or passed away- bands that are still performing. The concert would be a festival with each band playing a two hour set. There would be four bands . The openers would be Dream Theater (from 12:00 to 14:00):

I would then unleash Devin Townsend onto an unsuspecting audience (from 14:30 to 16:30)

Next would be Steven Wilson and Porcupine Tree (from 17:00 until 19:00):

The headliners would be Riverside playing from 20:00 until the curfew. 

10. The funniest, weirdest, silliest, animal/pet I’ve ever met

That would be have to be one of my current cats. Her name is Star (short for Stardust) and she is funny, weird and silly. 

We had to buy a fireguard to stop her from climbing up the chimney and also, from trying to attack the flames of the fire. Even now, she tried to pull the fireguard over. 

When she comes in, she demands attention and miaows until you stop what you are doing and give her the fuss she deserves. 

When I was working, she would walk onto my desk and lie down just in front of the keyboard and sprawl across my arms, making it really difficult to type. She has also sent emails on my behalf. She has even joined me in meetings much to the amusement of my work colleagues. 

Every day, she has several mad moments where she and her brother Ziggy race around the house like cats possessed. 

The scary thing that she does is wanders quite far. There is a school at the end of our road and one day I walked past and saw here in the playgorund. She recognised me and came running over, miaowing. She then followed me all the way home, trotting behind me, miaowing indignantly. She was like a dog. 

Also, she has set off behind me when I have been for walks. I've had to turn back so that she would follow me back home before setting off again. 

Here she is with me on my desk last year:

11. How has love changed for me over the years

I don’t think it has changed. I think these days I am far more content and therefore I feel love for a lot more people and things than I used to as a younger man. 

12. A book, movie, or song that brings me a sense of peace

I read books and see movies to escape the real world and in a sense that provides peace. No book or movie in particular does that specifically. 

However, music is amazing for that. One of my go to songs is an ambient masterpiece by French electronic duo Air. The song is called “La femme d’argent” and it is beautiful. No prog or heavy metal in sight. It’s an interesting video too. It’s not the official video, just something that somebody made. It shows the view from a  tram going down Market Street in San Franscisco in 1906 just four days before the great earthquake hit that wonderful city. 

13. Names I like but wouldn’t suit me

There is an English football player who has a brilliant name: Max Power. I would love to have that name but it wouldn’t suit me at all. Here are some other names I like that simply would make me look ridiculous if I introduced myself with them:

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Bastian Schweinsteiger

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Rip Torn

Freddie Mercury

Boris Karloff

Wolf Blitzer

14. What’s a part of myself I’m still working to understand

I am still working to understand every aspect of myself. I am a walking oxymoron, a paradox personified. I know the kind of person I want to be and I sometimes take steps to become that person before slipping back into the odd weirdo that I am. 

Don’t get me wrong; I like myself think I’m a great person but I don’t understand some of my own foibles. They don’t make sense to me. Now I have taken steps to try to eradicate some of my quirks and it has worked. The problem is that other new quirks pop up to replace them.

I guess I am destined to be weird. 

And I don’t understand why. 

It’s fun though. I guess I will always be me.

15. Something I love about myself today

Having answered the last question, I am very happy that I have the ability to be self-deprecating. We are all human and some people refuse to acknowledge their flaws. I share a lot of mine on this blog (not all of them) and usually have a laugh doing so. I think people like honesty and I try to be honest. I’m not perfect at all – as I have said – I am weird. In fact one of Mrs PM’s favourite things to say to me is “Don’t be weird!” because she sees me in my natural state, warts and all. 

And I am happy with that. As I am to share this with you dear reader. 

I mean what kind of pillock would call himself Plastic Mancunian?

November

Welcome to a dull and overcast South Manchester. It’s not raining thank goodness but it isn’t the greatest day we’ve ever had. Last week the clocks went back one hour so now it gets dark earlier, which means those nights are drawing in. 

Last night it was Hallowe’en so Mrs PM and I strolled to the pub to avoid the kids banging on our door shrieking “trick or treat”. As we walked, we did see them out and about and some of the costumes were entertaining. In the pub itself Hallowe’en decorations were up and the bar staff were also dressed up. 

I’ve moaned about Hallowe’en before on this blog. The thing I object to is the commercialisation of it. To me the commercialisation of it is an American thing and, as a nation, sadly, we are slowly embracing this commercialisation. As I walked down our street I saw several houses where the owners had decorated with pumpkins, spiders webs, skeletons and various other bits and pieces from horror movies. We never used to do that in the UK. There were always stories and stuff like that but giving out sweets and dressing up is something from the States. 

Still – each to their own. I enjoyed my pint of ale. 

I’ll stop being a grumpy old git now and answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. Local events, parades or festivals – either in your hometown or state

We have loads of events and parades and events in Manchester throughout the year. Here are some of them:

Manchester International Festival – includes art, performances and music throughout Manchester for a couple of weeks in July.

Manchester Pride – a famous weekend in August that celebrates LGTQB+ with parades music and general fun. I’ve wandered around the city when this happens and it is a fun experience.

Parklife – A huge music festival held annually in Heaton Park. Sadly, it’s not my kind of music but it is a huge event for younger folks. 

Sounds of the City – a series of headline gigs from a variety of established musical artists in the Castlefield area. I have attended one of these – Porcupine Tree last year. It was excellent. 

Oktoberfest – a beer and food festival in a similar vein (but much smaller scale) to the Munich Oktoberfest. We have been for the last two years and it is amazing fun.

Chinese New Year – a huge parade to celebrate Chinese New Year always occurs in the city centre. I’ve been a couple of times and it was great fun, with great food too. 

There are more and even locally to me. For example, last week we went to a beer festival for our local area and in attendance was the Mayor of Greater Manchester himself who Mrs PM accosted for a photograph. 

There’s always something going on. 

At Christmas, there will be a Christmas parade and the Christmas Markets will be erected for a month. That’s always fun.

2. Life update – what’s happened recently, moving house, family wedding, vacation, new pet, visited with a friend, and so on.

The only significant thing that has happened recently is my retirement. And I love it. 

3. Do you have any family traditions this month?

Not really. November is one of the weirdest months of the year for me. Winter is coming and it gets darker quicker, as I said above, so I should find it slightly depressing. However, the countdown to Christmas has already begun so I find myself buoyed by that, rather than November itself. We don’t typically plan anything this month because December is always very busy. 

4. The holidays are about two months away, do you begin shopping or creating now or wait until December?

I prefer to start in November because I hate shopping. Shopping in December is pure madness because the shops are rammed full of manic shoppers.

5. What is your favourite November memory?

I’m struggling to think of one to be honest. It’s a bit of a boring month. 

6. Now that the weather is getting cooler do you prefer? Staying indoors or going outdoors? What do you do?

I like to go outdoors still. I walk every morning and at lunchtime too usually. It’s still autumn and at the moment the parks are full of colourful leaves and it isn’t too cold just yet. That will change as November goes on but I will still brave the weather as it gets worse. Winter tends to be a time when I spend more time indoors generally; it’s cosier. 

7. Describe your favourite local restaurant

We have a couple of decent restaurants within a ten minute walk. There is a Nepalese restaurant that has won awards, a couple of decent Italian restaurants, two local English restaurants that are quite expensive for special occasions but the food is divine, a Turkish restaurant, a Chinese restaurant and others that I haven’t tried that have good reputations. We don’t have to go to the city centre to get a good meal. Typically If we go for a meal, we will pop to the pub first for an aperitif and then have our lovely meal. 

8. Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving?

I’ve never heard of Friendsgiving but I believe it is related to Thanksgiving. Either way it doesn’t happen in the UK so I would say neither for me. One day I may be in the US during Thanksgiving and if so perhaps I could learn more about it. 

9. If you could take any class, what would you select?

I am thinking of going to a Spanish class next year. I would also consider a creative writing class. 

10. To celebrate November would you rather enjoy pumpkin pie or sweet potato?

I don’t like sweet potato on its own. However, I have had a mix of sweet potato and normal potato mash, which is quite nice. I have never had pumpkin pie. 

11. How do you handle setbacks and failures?

They annoy me but not for long. I have learned from such things in the past and while I find them irritating, I recognise that they can improve things ultimately. 

12. If everything in your house had to be one colour, which colour would you choose?

That colour would be blue, assuming I were allowed to have different shades of it (and I was allowed to include teal which is a kind of green-blue).

13. Who or what would you haunt if you were a ghost?

I would haunt the entire world. Part of me hopes that when I eventually shuffle off this mortal coil, I will become a ghost that has access to everything and everyone. I would basically become a stowaway and visit the places in the world where I hadn’t made it to in real life. 

14. Have you ever worn clothing with the labels still attached?

Yes – once or twice. I recall being at university and a girl I liked said “New trousers, Dave?” I was delighted because she had noticed me but then I saw the reason why – and was totally embarrassed.

15. What's something weird that you recommend everyone try at least once?

Play the air guitar. 

Here is a couple of photographs of me at a wedding from several years ago (2013), trying to emulate Slash when Paradise City was played. I hasten to add that the inflatable guitar wasn’t mine. The groom was a huge fan of rock music, Guns'n'Roses in particular, and came armed with the guitar and top hat. It was weird but great fun. I would recommend it. 

Do you think Slash considers me to be competition?

See if you can spot the real Slash from the photos below.