I've Got a Rocket

 

Welcome to a sunny South Manchester where the weather is changeable. It waited until I went for my morning walk before deciding to rain. When I left the house there wasn’t a cloud in sight. Somebody must have sensed that I had not brought my umbrella because approximately half way through my walk (about two miles in) the heavens opened. I was drenched and, as fate would dictate, as I approached home, the sun came out again and the clouds disappeared. 

Typical, eh?

Today I am going to a rather strange gig for me with Mrs PM. We are going to see Alison Goldfrapp and while I am normally into progressive rock and heavy metal, the gig tonight is more electronic pop with a hint of dance – definitely more Mrs PM's cup of tea than mine. But, hey, it’s good to expand your horizons once in a while and I do like some of her songs. 

Here’s an old one that reminds me of what I will do when I become World President. 

My plan is to build a huge spaceship and incarcerate all the odious people in the world on it, telling them that they are pioneers looking for a new planet for us to populate in the future. The truth is that I just want to rid planet Earth of these people in the most humane way possible. 

Alison Goldfrapp has the same idea. Here is Rocket:

Ohh, I got a rocket

Ohh, you're going on it

Ohh, you're never coming back

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. Have you ever smoked cigarettes?

I have tried to smoke cigarettes three times in my life. Once at the age of 16 when I coughed and spluttered and said “Why would anyone DO this?” The second time was about a year later when I succumbed to peer pressure and said the same thing. 

Those two times, I just sucked the smoke into my mouth and immediately blew it out. 

The final time was when I was 20 years old. I was out drinking at university with a bunch of mates and we went to a night club. I was drunk so I took up the offer of a cigarette. After a puff, my mate informed me that I needed to inhale it fully into my lungs. So I did …

… and promptly threw up. 

The effect of the nicotine and alcohol conspired to make me really dizzy and I ended up going home immediately in a cab vowing never ever EVER to go anywhere near a cigarette again. 

And I haven’t.

2. What do you think of hot dogs?

I like them but to be honest I rarely eat them. I think the last time I had one was at the cinema because I was ravenous and about to watch a long film. 

3. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Lots of alcohol.

I’m only kidding. I usually have a cup of decaffeinated tea and a mixture of orange and apple juice (about 60% apple and 40% orange). 

4. What's your favourite piece of jewellery that you own?

I don’t own any jewellery. I used to wear a neck chain when I was a younger man – I though it looked cool. I never replaced it when it broke. 

5. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?

As I said above, I love a cup of decaffeinated tea. I also drink black decaffeinated coffee (an Americano if you want Starbuck’s terminology). 

When I am in a pub in the evening I usually drink beer. In the summer I will have lager but in winter I tend to drink ales). 

6. Like to travel?

Anyone who has ever read this blog knows the answer to this question. I love travelling. In fact we have just planned our next three trips and will be booking them soon. We are going to go Menorca in May sometime as it is the only Balearic Island we haven’t been to. For Mrs PMs birthday in August we are going to return to Nice in the South of France (we love that city). Finally in September sometime we are going to head off to Greece (not sure exactly where yet). 

7. What should you be doing right now?

It’s Friday and I don’t work on Fridays anymore. I am certain that my company would tell me that I should be working today but that’s just tough for them. I have completed all of my daily duties today and we are off to a concert tonight so who cares what I should be doing? I don’t.

8, Your phone rings. Who do you want it to be?

I want it to be the lottery company to tell me that I have won millions of pounds. 

9. Do you like to ride horses?

I have ridden small horse in the past once or twice. But I do not fancy riding a full sized horse – they are huge, fast and temperamental. 

I am slightly fearful of them if I’m honest. It all stems from a football match I was at in my youth when there was a crowd of us leaving but the police decided to disperse the crowd for reasons unknown to any of us. A rather angry policeman decided to force our hand by charging into the crowd in an expletive filled rant ordering us to move. The bloody thing was huge and I feared that it might just run me over. Thankfully I just ran and the thing didn’t chase me. 

I have seen them since in fields and I think they are gentle creatures so I’m not really scared of them anymore. But riding one? 

No thanks.

10. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?

It depends who I am with. With my close buddies I am more of a talker. Otherwise I am a mixture of both.

11. What's in your pocket right now?

My phone. 

12. Last thing that made you laugh?

I caught a video of the late great Sean Lock, a British comedian, doing a monologue. It was very rude and very funny. If you haven’t heard of Sean Lock, just take a look at some of his stand-up routines on You Tube. He was hilarious – and is sorely missed.

13. How many TVs do you have in your house?

We have three. There is a Smart TV in the lounge, another older model in back room, which is a backup TV but the one that I use to play video games. Finally we have a small one upstairs that I watch while ironing (I need something to help relieve the tedium of this monotonous chore). 

14. Who's your loudest friend?

It is probably a guy from work who is outrageous and hilarious. He is great company and always makes me laugh. I have some stories about him but I will keep them to myself for now. 

15. Favourite sports team? (If you don't have one, just state that ...)

That would be Walsall Football Club, a lower league team from the EFL. I have supported them all my life even though I don’t live there anymore. 

Here they are beating Wrexham earlier this season (Wrexham are the club that Ryan Reynolds bought a couple of years ago). Walsall are playing in the red (we won 3-1).