Swap Bot Part Three

Welcome to a sunny south Manchester. It’s November and the weather is actually not that bad. Usually at this time of year it is cold as the first signs of winter appear. At the moment, though, it is reasonably warm, so much so that I have been walking outside in my summer coat during the day.

I would like to add my congratulations to the England T20 cricket squad who this morning won the T20 Cricket World Cup, beating Pakistan in the final by five wickets. It was a very interesting match to watch and it now means that England are the current holders of both one day international World Cup trophies. 

Well done, boys.

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. If you could witness any event from history, what would it be?

I’m not really a religious person but I think I would like to go back in time to see who Jesus was and what he really did. I am a Roman Catholic by baptism, though not practicing (for the last 44 years at least) and so I was indoctrinated into believing that this man was indeed the son of God and performed miracles like they were part of every day life. 

I would just like to be an observer of this to judge for myself. I think it would be really interesting. And if indeed he did perform these miracles, I would love to chat to him about it. 

2. What do you think about conspiracy theories?

I absolutely love them – the more bizarre the better. With the advent of the Internet, such theories are exploding all over the place. Here is a list of my ten current favourites:

The Earth is flat – this one makes me howl with laughter.

The moon landing was fake.

The Earth is hollow.

We are being ruled by a secret group of lizard people.

Covid-19 is a hoax – I’ve had Covid-19 – I know it isn’t a hoax.

Humanity is a race that was planted on Earth by an alien species.

JFK was assassinated by the US government.

Scientology beliefs are real.

We are all living in the Matrix.

3. Do you like cartoons? Do you have /had a favourite one?

I used to really like cartoons as a kid. Nowadays, the only one I watch are repeats of the ones I used to watch as a kid if I see them and, of course, the Simpsons, which is really an adult show masquerading as a children’s cartoon.

Here is an example of my favourite cartoon as a kid:

and of course now:

4. What did you most dislike in school times?

Most of it. I was very clever and went to a really good school but I hated the discipline because it was more prominent in my school. Don’t get me wrong, I had some good times there but I won’t look back on those days with fondness. I much prefer my time at university which was absolutely brilliant.

5. How do you think the end of the world will look like?

It’s difficult to say but recent events are making me think we are seeing the start of it:

The Covid-19 pandemic, a nutter in Russia walking ever closer to a line that we should never cross by invading a foreign country while having a huge stash of nuclear weapons and finally most if not all nations on the planet ignoring the signs of global warming.

I hope I am wrong of course. I don’t think the end of the world will be a quick event; it will be a slow drawn out catastrophe that happens over a decade or so.

6. What sounds are in your opinion relaxing? The sound of the sea? Traffic? Vacuum cleaner? Combine harvester on the field? Some kind of music? Birds singing?

I love the sound of the sea and I am always relaxed when I walk along a shore. Also, ambient music really works for me (I sometimes listen to it while working). Something like this:

7. Which would you take: The well-worn path or the road less travelled?

It depends. Most of my life I have travelled the well-worn path but occasionally I have used the road less travelled. The past five years, however, for me have been the latter, which has its ups and downs. I don’t think I can help it.

I guess I will say at the moment and for the foreseeable future, it will be the road less travelled.

8. What was the last thing you read?

I’ve read a few Dean Koontz books this year, rekindling my relationship with his books (I  used to read a lot of his novels in the 1990’s and 2000’s. The latest one I read was this one:

9. What is one thing that has stumped you so hard you won't ever forget it?

It has to be the UK’s decision to leave the European Union. We are now paying the price and I simply can’t work out why we did such a stupid thing.

10. What are you interested in that most people aren’t?

I like a lot of obscure music by bands that a lot of people haven’t heard of and being a total geek, I like a lot of weird and wonderful books, shows and movies that people would raise an eyebrow at.

11. What’s something you really resent paying for?

We in the UK are constantly ripped off. Everything is more expensive and I hate paying the extra price for things like petrol, music etc. compared to other parts of the world. 

12. What did you think was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now?

I had a mullet in the 1980’s that I absolutely loved. It was removed by accident (here is the story of how it happened).

These days the mullet is mocked mercilessly. I still love that style.

13. If you could choose a different time period and place to be born, when and where would it be?

I think it would have to be in the future. Given that I am a technophile, constantly fascinated with technological improvements, development and evolution, I really want to see where we are in say 100 or 200 years – or even further in the future. 

I would like therefore to be born in the year that time travel is invented or discovered and let’s take it from there. I would still like to be in the UK (if we haven't self-destructed by then, of course).

14. Do you think cats have any regrets?

HA HA HA HA HA. Of course they don’t. All the cats that I have owned walk all over me like I am a piece of rubbish festering in a gutter. Regrets? Not a chance.

15. What question do you hate answering?

I don’t mind answering any question. I’ll have a go at answering any question. Of course, being a human being, I may choose to answer it truthfully, exaggerate a bit, exaggerate a lot or just tell a downright lie.

Go on – try me!