What's to Eat

 

Welcome to day 153 of the lockdown in Manchester in the north of England. Actually, I’m not that convinced that strictly speaking we are locked down now. In Manchester we have the additional restrictions but in the rest of the country, people can gather is social bubbles, go to the pub etc. and schools are planning to reopen in September. We still won’t be able to go to concerts or football matches because of the ban on mass gatherings but we can largely come and go as we please.  

Mrs PM planned a couple of birthday celebrations with friends and family this last week but they had to be cancelled because of the additional restrictions. Nevertheless because we are still allowed to go to the pubs and restaurants here, the two of us were able to still go out having reduced the number of people on each reservation. 

So she had a good week and, sadly, I have to dive back into the rat race again tomorrow and return to work (albeit from the comfort of my own home). 

It’s Sunday so it must be time to answer a bunch of silly questions on Sunday Stealing. 

Let’s dive right in shall we?

1. How old is the oldest expired thing in your refrigerator?

I don’t have expired things in my fridge. I am very careful (some may use the word “squeamish”) about food that may or may not have gone off. There is no way that I will allow anything to be used after its “sell by” date. To be honest, I’m a little squeamish about things that have run past their “best before” date too. 

2. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done on a date?

I hate to disappoint you but I don’t do weird things on dates (or at least when I used to date – I haven’t been on a date for about 40 years when I think about it). Actually, something leaps to mind. When I was 18 I had a girlfriend called Christina (Chris for short). My dad was going to take my mum to see a crooner called Frankie Vaughn on a kind of dinner date. For some reason, known only to him, he decided that Chris and I should come too. The only way he managed to persuade me was by promising to pay for our dinner and the tickets. I tried to tell him that I was a young fan of heavy metal and that Frankie Vaughn was so far away from my musical taste that it may as well of been from the Planet Tharg. He even went so far as to go round to Chris’s parents house to ask them if it was alright. So there I was, with Chris and my parents, eating a three course meal and listening to Frankie Vaughn croon away. It was the most bizarre experience I have ever had and I still to this day cannot fathom what was going through my dad’s head when he urged us to go. If you haven’t heard of Frankie Vaughn, here he is in his full glory.

3. What animal most closely resembles your eating style?

It depends how hungry I am and where I am. If I am in a fancy restaurant, I eat delicately like a cat. If I am on my own in front of the TV and am absolutely ravenous I eat like a dog that hasn’t eaten for a week.

4. Have you ever sent someone a text you didn’t mean to?

Not to my knowledge. 

5. If you could learn any language fluently, which would it be?

It would be Spanish. I am currently still trying to teach myself Spanish and am in a position where I can understand basic written text and make simple requests. I really need to pursue it more seriously but at the moment it is quite difficult to find the time.

6. Would you rather be bald or covered head to toe with hair?

I would rather be bald. I despise my hair, as you may know, so to be covered from head to toe in the stuff would be an absolute nightmare. Mrs PM quite likes my beard though and doesn’t want me to shave it off, so I have to keep and maintain that too. It is fine though because it isn’t as crazy as the uncontrollable mop on my head.

7. Do you think you’re brave?

I think I can be. If I saw somebody in trouble I would definitely wade in to help but when it comes to simple things, like removing a big spider from the house or going to the top of a tall building, I am a total coward.

8. What horror fiction character scares you the most?

Demons and anything relating to the Devil. The films that have scared me the most involve demonic possession (the Exorcist for example). I like the tongue-in-cheek versions such as the TV show Lucifer but a full on horror movie about Satan would mess with my head and give me sleepless nights. 

9. What food do you crave more than any other?

Probably cheese. We always have cheese in the house and I love it on snacks such as a Ham and Cheese butty (sandwich to American readers) or cheese on toast. A cheese feast pizza is a joy to behold.

10. Which holiday would you erase from the calendars, if you could?

I wouldn’t because I like holidays. However, there was talk of having a Brexit Day holiday and if that ever happens I would want to erase that, simply because as a nation it is the single most stupid thing we have ever done – and that includes electing Boris the Clown as Prime Minister.

11. What’s the most clever word you know?

When I was studying Chemistry A-level I recall a chemical compound that has an amazing name and for some reason, even 40 years on, I still remember it. The word is “2,4-Dinitrophenylhydrazine” and its chemical formula is C6H3(NO2)2NHNH2. It is an organic chemical, based on a benzine ring, and the naming convention perfectly describes what the molecule looks like. 

As far as the English language is concerned, I know a few clever words but then I suddenly go off them when they are abused by being incorporated into business-speak or simply misused. Words like “procurement”, “paradigm”, “leverage”, “synergy”, “incentivise”, “infrastructure”, “ecosystem”, “ninja”, “consume” and “triage” really wind me up when abused and misused in business speak.

As I work in IT I know quite a few so-called clever words that are used in my field, such as “asynchronous”, “synchronous”, “heterogeneous”, “homogenous”, “hexadecimal”, “algorithm”, “decompression”, “database” for example. 

There are some rarely used words that I genuinely like the sound of, such as “onomatopoeia”, “mellifluous”, “euphoria” and “plethora”. Plenty to choose from there I reckon but I will stick with my chemical compound, “2,4-Dinitrophenylhydrazine”.

12. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

I am a hypochondriac (another good word) so I try not to think about it. I’m not particularly scared of dying as long as it is quick. The worst thing would be a long drawn out painful death at the hands of a very nasty virus. You can imagine how I feel about that at the moment.

13. What do you collect that nobody knows about?

I collect music CD’s and I have a collection of football programmes. I don’t go to football matches much these days, preferring to watch them on TV, but if I do go, I will always buy the programme. 

14. Have you ever eaten only candy for dinner?

No because I am not a fan of candy or as I prefer to call it, sweets.

15. Have you ever taken anything illegally across a border?

I’ve not done it on purpose if ever. I have been to countries where you are not allowed to take currency in or out and may have inadvertently had a few coins or notes on my way out.

16. Have you ever blown your nose in anything other than a tissue?

Yes – that’s what handkerchiefs are for.

17. Are you a good time manager?

I’m not too bad these days. I used to be terrible and it was pointed out to me by a former boss as my only real weakness. So I read a book on time management and now I am relatively okay.

18. Has life been hard on you?

Not at all. I’ve had ups and downs but if at the age of 17 you told me that at 57 I would be a reasonably successful member of the IT community with two sons, a woman I love and my own home I would have been happy with that. I’m fine.

19. What is the absolute worst song in the world?

This is one of the worst songs I have ever heard and not just because it is straight out of the terrible Stock, Aitkin and Waterman music factory. It basically slags off all of the music I like in favour of “Jacking” whatever the hell that fad was. In fact, the opposite is true. At the time, this song was in the charts and being played on every radio station, the music I like and liked rarely got airplay. And this is still the case today. What a load of old tosh it really is, the tune and the words. It is a true abomination.

Here it is in all of its ugliness.

I would rather spend three hours listening to Frankie Vaughn that listen to this utter drivel. There are worse songs but this one holds a special place in my hate list. All people responsible for it from the writers to the performers are on the space ship that will contain all of the people I want to banish from Earth. Happy galaxy travels, Reynolds Girls. Thankfully, this is a one hit wonder and no more singles were released by them. 

20. What is your culinary specialty?

I would say that it is some form of pasta. I can knock up a decent pasta dish very quickly and easily.