The Eighty Meme

I thought I’d waste a bit of time with some Sunday Stealing . Today’s effort is the second of a two part meme called the Eighty Meme.

I don’t like doing things by halves so I’ve opted to do the two together.

Here we go – hold on tight because this is gonna be scary …

1. What curse word do you use the most?

I am afraid that I can’t repeat it here. Much to my shame, I use a word that rhymes with “duck”. I wish that I didn’t but I do. I have tried to wean myself off it by using comedy swear words like “Shazbat” and “Cripes”. It doesn’t work.

2. Do you own an iPod?

No – but I want one. At the moment I have an IRiver 40Gb mp3 jukebox but there is an iPod Touch 64Gb that has many features that my brick doesn’t. However, I am wondering about getting an iPhone too and, being an indecisive Libran, I can’t make up my mind.

3. What person do you talk to on the phone the most?

Probably Mrs PM – or any number of customers at work.

4. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?

Yes. She was an Irish girl called Brid and we used to hold up comics during playtime and steal kisses behind them. I think I was probably about six. I started early.

5. Do you remember where you were on 11/9/01?

I was at work. A very sad day when nobody at our company did any work whatsoever.

6. What was the last movie you watched?

The last movie I saw was “Brüno” starring Sacha Baron Cohen (creator of Borat and Ali G). It is incredibly funny and extremely shocking.

7. Has anyone ever called you lazy?

Yes – just about everybody I know has called me lazy at some point in my life. Why? Because I AM lazy.

8. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep?

No. I explore my imagination by plotting fantastic science fiction space operas. I am currently working on a Dr Who/Star Trek crossover. It will never see the light of day and the plot is so convoluted that I actually fall asleep while trying to work out the intricacies of the plot. One day, such epic crap may actually even make it to the internet.

9. Has anyone told you a secret this week?

The cat told me that he can speak English and understands every word I say. I am sworn to secrecy though.

10. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Boobs. I am sorry but I am a man and I simply cannot help myself.

11. What are you looking forward to?

I am looking forward to a trip to Iceland in August to celebrate Mrs PM’s fortieth birthday. I am looking forward to having a word with that bloody volcano that caused mayhem earlier this year.

12. Do you own any band t-shirts?

Not any more. The last one I bought was at a Guns’n’Roses concert in the early 90’s. It had the cover of “Use Your Illusion II” on it – the best album they ever did. Sadly, as with most gig T-shirts, it died a few years later.

13. What will you be doing in one hour?

I will be posting this meme and probably watching extra time in the Spain v Paraguay World Cup Quarter Final.

14. Is anyone in love with you?

I am pretty sure that Mrs PM is in love with me. Why else would she put up with me and my bizarre habits? Apart from that I don’t know – there might be others, like Megan Fox for example. However, if Megan really were in love with me, I would have to let her down gently.

15. Last time you cried?

That’s a good question – probably when Jasper, my hungry fat bloater of a moggy, attacked my bare foot, thinking it was food.

16. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?

I started this post on the desktop but am now on the laptop because I am multi-tasking (typing and watching the Spain v Paraguay World Cup Quarter Final – which has now become very interesting because Paraguay have just been awarded a penalty. Hang on …Bloody hell – it’s been saved). Oh no – another penalty, this time to Spain … hang on again … GOAL!!! Bloody Hell – he has to take it again – talk about drama – SAVED!!!! CRIPES (see I CAN control my swearing).

17. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?

Absolutely not! The thought of anything piercing my skin makes me want to vomit!

18. Would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos?

Absolutely, if I were young, free and single that is. Some of the best looking female rock singers have fabulous tattoos.

19. What were you doing before this?

Watching the first half of Spain v Paraguay.

20. When is the last time you slept on the floor?

Years ago at a party. I don’t do that any more.

21. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?

I can get by with six hours but I really need around seven and a half hours. I am that predictable. If I go to bed at midnight I wake up at 07:30 give or take five minutes.

22. Do you eat breakfast daily?

Of course. I can’t function without food.

23. Are your days fast-paced?

Sometimes work can be a little hectic but normally I like to be lazy and drift through the day, taking my time doing the things that need to be done. Why hurry? I do enough of that at work.

24. What did you do last night?

Mrs PM and I went for a meal and a few beers in the Northern Quarter in Manchester city centre. There are some crackingly weird bars there.

25. Do you use sarcasm?

Of course – particularly on trips to America.

26. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

I will be forty eight in October.

27. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?

I be very pikky abowt speling and grammmmer. I 8 it wen peepul right badd.

28. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?

I get along with both sexes.

29. Do you watch the news?

Yes, with my soapbox at the ready.

30. How did you get one of your scars?

I only have one scar and that is on my hand, when I picked up a knife by the blade when I was in my twenties. What a pillock!

31. Who was the last person to make you mad?

Outside of work it was Jonathan Pearce, the commentator of the football match I am currently watching. In fact, it was about five minutes ago when his blithering nonsense pushed my buttons again. He, like most TV commentators, talk absolute garbage most of the time. Why don’t they just tell us who has the ball instead of waffling and giving us their opinion? I really don’t like Jonathan Perce but he is an absolute gem compared to his equivalent on ITV, one Clive Tyldesley. That man should be gagged.

32. What is the last big thing you purchased?

A 37 inch HD television – the one I am currently watching in fact.

33. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?

Megan Fox. No – only kidding. Mrs PM, of course.

34. What is a rumour someone has spread about you?

None that I recall. I would like somebody to spread a rumour that “The Plastic Mancunian” is really Tom Cruise – that would invite some interesting comments.

35. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?

I would press the alarm button and try to have a conversation with the other people trapped with me. If I were alone, I would probably sit down and continue plotting my space opera.

36. T or F: All’s fair in love and war?

False. I have suffered in love and it definitely isn’t fair.

37. Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?

No – I am a walking dictionary.

38. Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings Time?

Of course not. I am British not American.

39. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?

Why? Have you got one for sale?

40. What’s something you’ve always wanted?

I’ve always wanted to go to Japan and South America.

41. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?

It depends. I don’t want to set foot in the sea in Australia because there are beasts in there that can give you a horrible lingering painful death. In a safe place I prefer the ocean.

42. Do you wear a lot of black?

Yes – I am the man in black, much to Mrs PM’s disgust.

43. Describe your hair:

My hair is blond with one or two grey hairs. It is alive, bushy and hates me. I cannot predict what position it will have glued itself into whenever I wake up and am usually horrified. It takes me hours to control it. I hate it. I want to be bald but Mrs PM won’t let me shave it all off.

44. Where is/are your best friend(s)?

My best friend is sitting next to me on the settee. It’s my fat cat Jasper. Only kidding, it is Mrs PM and she is here too.