However, I have discovered that there are people out there in all countries of the world for whom the word “stupid” would be a complement. These people are so brainless that manufacturers of certain products have had to add warnings so that these imbeciles do not actually harm themselves by using the product in an unsavoury way, thus harming themselves in the process and, I would guess, suing the manufacturers for not adding a suitable warning
Once again, I have surfed the internet on your behalf in order to illustrate how utterly and completely boneheaded some people actually are. I realise that there are many out there who believe that it is the manufacturers who are the thick ones, but if you take a closer look you can imagine “victims” of product misuse attempting to sue to hide their dumbness. As far as I know, all of the warnings below are genuine.
On a toner cartridge for a laser printer: Do not eat toner
Instructions on the label of a bottled drink: Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth
On a lottery ticket: Do not iron
On a birthday card for a one year old: Not suitable for children under 36 months
On flower pot: Houseplants are for ornamental use and not to be consumed
On cough medicine for children: Do not drive or operate machinery after use
On a hair colour box: Do not use as an ice cream topping
On a bag of peanuts: Warning: contains nuts
On a hair dryer: Do not use in the shower
Also on a hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping
On a toilet brush: Do not use orally
On a microwave oven: Do not use for drying pets
On a novelty rock garden: Warning: Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth
On a push chair: Warning: Remove infant before folding for storage
On a superman costume: Warning: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly
On a lighter: Do not expose flame to the face
On a box of sleeping pills: Warning: May cause drowsiness
On a TV remote control: Warning: Not dishwasher safe
On an electric cattle prod: For use on animals only
On an iPod shuffle: Warning: Do not eat iPod shuffe
On a bottle of pills for dogs: Use care when operating a car
On an iron: Do not iron clothes on the body
On a barbecue: Warning: this product gets hot
On a chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand or genitals
Also on a chainsaw: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw
And my favourite:
On a blowtorch: Not to be used for drying hair
I have a picture in my mind for all of them (I’m sorry, I can’t help it – I’m drawn to such things in a weird kind of way). I can imagine a woman with long hair trying to dry it using a blowtorch; I can picture a man discovering that the shirt he has just put on needs to be ironed; I can picture a man leaping off a tall building in a Superman cape.
Anyway, I must go. I need to round up the cats with my new cattle prod.
Very funny :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's just Americans. For example, the "nuts" one comes from England and the chainsaw one comes from Sweden.
ReplyDeleteBut it's scary that these warning signs have to be added
:-/
Cheers
PM
OMG that has to be one of the funniest things I have read in awhile... too bad they are all true. People really are that stupid...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the monday morning giggle!
Do you really think this one is real: "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand or genitals"? I just can't bring myself believe that any product -- even a British product -- would feel the need to explain to people that they shouldn't put their fun bits near a rotating saw blade.
ReplyDeleteLOL, oh it's the American suing-business that's to blame for this, I'm sure. Though I do like EuroYanks comment above...:)
ReplyDeleteIf I must pick favourite/s it'll be the toilet brush that shouldn't be used orally and the hair colouring kit that shouldn't be used as ice cream topping - although I suspect if you've done tha latter despite warning the toilet brush would somehow come handy for oral use.
Hi Saint Lover,
ReplyDeleteYes - I too fear that people are that stupid.
Funny :-)
but a little sad
:-/
Never mind. Sometimes its good to laugh at idiocy :-)
Cheers
PM
Hi HawaiianPun,
ReplyDeleteI don't know - could be an urban myth. I think I'd need to double check with a Swede.
The thought makes my eyes water though
:-)
Cheers
PM
Hi Pia,
ReplyDeleteYes - the toilet brush one conjures up a pure comedy image. I tried to find one but sadly couldn't.
May be worth another search though.
:-)
Cheers
PM
Gah! It scares me if anyone would even think about putting a chainsaw near their genitals.
ReplyDeleteI know, Brian. I've replayed the image over and over in my head and each time it it ends in tears.
ReplyDeleteI really do wonder ...
No - perhaps I'd better not go there.
:-)
Cheers
PM
I've eaten printer toner before. It's actually not that bad!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, those warnings are there in the US to prevent lawsuits due to our frivolous lawsuit sub-culture. While the minority, companies will do anything to not get sued.
Really, try printer toner. It's good with Japanese seaweed and sake.
Thanks for the tip VM :-)
ReplyDeleteI relaise that these warnings exist to prevent lawsuits - it's getting that way in the UK as well.
I think I would require a lot of sake to rid myself of the taste of toner.
:-)
Cheers
PM
I think those warnings are more about litigiousness than stupidity. People play dumb in order to sue the deepest pockets.
ReplyDeleteThanks cube - but I know that I wouldn't position a chainsaw anywhere near to my genitalia - no matter what the reward
ReplyDelete:-/
Cheers
PM
Absolutely hilarious! Those warnings always crack me up cuz you know they're there cuz some idiot did that exact thing then tried to sue the company for it.
ReplyDeleteHi JAne,
ReplyDeleteThat's what worries me. I'm sure there are people who read this warnings and think "mmm never thought of that" - if they can read of course.
Cheers
PM
Well thank goodness that Lucy got through her recent round of antibiotics without once asking for the car keys... Funny post! :o)
ReplyDeleteLucy can read? Lucy can open a box of pills?
ReplyDeleteShe really is a clever dog ...
:-)
Cheers
PM