It’s easy; he’s talking.
The time I dread is upon us; that’s if you live in the United Kingdom. Yes, it’s election time again, when we are subjected to a parade of lying politicians appearing on the television, on the radio, on the internet and, if like me you are unlucky enough to live in a marginal constituency, on your own doorstep.
It’s time for an election and for the next few weeks the British people have to endure a bunch of double-talking, dishonest and deceitful hypocrites promising the world and delivering nothing but their own agenda.
Over the coming weeks, the news will be full of these people using scare tactics or worse to get us to put a tick in a box next to the name of a lying representative of their party, all so that one of the leaders can become our next Prime Minister and spend the next five years shafting us all in one way or another.
So what array of liars do we have?
Allow me to introduce them to you.
David Cameron is the current Prime Minister and leader of the Conservative party, a party who love rich people. With his Chancellor, George Osbourne, you have two former public school boys who think that they are one with people, declaring “We’re all in this together,” while at the same time allowing the rich to get richer and the poor, via a savage austerity programme, to get poorer.
|Osborne - Smugness Personified|
|Which one is the leader of Labour Party?|
But the really bad thing is that thanks to his broken promises my younger son will leave university in a few years’ time with an enormous debt.
Clegg’s party is now floundering and this has let in a very scary party called UKIP (UK Independence Party) led by “man of the people”, the beer drinking, smoking man who “tells it like it is”, Mr Nigel Farage. Like Ed Miliband, he is a strange looking guy but he resonates with the little Englanders up and down the country who blame every problem in the UK on one thing: immigration.
|Farage - Looney Leader|
Like this lady:
She was sacked. But what about this man?
He was sacked too. How about the UKIP councillor who blamed a series of severe floods in the south of England on David Cameron’s decision to legalise gay marriage?
He too was suspended. It seems to me that Mr Farage has his work cut out trying to apologise for the loonies in his party.
|Nigel Farage - nothing more needs to be said|
Usually it is a two horse race between Labour and the Conservatives but this time there seems to be no party that will get the required majority. This means that we will almost certainly end up with yet another coalition, lots more broken promises and, if we are really unlucky, a lunatic party like UKIP having a say in government policies.
As I said, I live in a marginal constituency which means that the only likely winners for my seat are the Liberal Democrats or Labour. There will be a stream of leaflets from these two parties through my letterbox and if I am really unlucky, the party activists and/or prospective MPs themselves will come-a-knocking hoping that I will promise to vote for them.
When I get my ballot paper, I want another option. I know I won’t get it but you can hope, can’t you?
The option is “None of the Above”.
Alternatively, I could vote for The Official Monster Raving Looney Party (“Vote For Insanity”) – and yes they really do exist (click here if you don't believe me).
With candidates like “Sir Oink-a-lot”, “Baron von Thunderclap”, “R.U.Seerius”, “Minkey the Drummer” and “Baron Barnes von Claptrap” they will make more sense than the liars we have to suffer.
Hopefully, on the night, TV coverage will be like this:
We can live in hope, can’t we?