Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Just Because



Just because you shout at me to reinforce your point, doesn’t mean that you are right.

Just because I am paranoid, doesn’t mean that everybody isn’t out to get me.

Just because I am hiding under the duvet, doesn’t mean that I am safe from the chainsaw-wielding maniac in my bedroom.

Just because I am a lapsed Catholic, doesn’t mean I am a bad person.

Just because people eat rhubarb, doesn’t mean that if I try it, I will suddenly love the hellish alien foodstuff.

Just because I am shy, doesn’t mean that I am antisocial.

Just because a piece of modern art is hanging up in a museum, doesn’t mean that it is worth paying a ridiculous amount of money for – nor that it is anything other than shit.

Just because I cried at Ghost, doesn’t mean that I am not a real man.

Just because I like heavy metal, doesn’t mean that I am a Satanist.

Just because I work for you, doesn’t mean that you own my soul.

Just because I am a celebrity, doesn’t mean that I can get away with anything.

Just because I refuse to give to your charity, doesn’t mean that I won’t give to any charity.

Just because I am ugly, doesn’t mean I am not nice a person.

Just because I cried at Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan doesn’t mean that I am a sad geek.

Just because wasps are supposed to be good for the garden, doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t eliminate as many of the little buggers as I can.

Just because a person appears on a reality TV show, doesn’t mean that they have any talent.

Just because a lot of people like “Strictly Come Dancing”, doesn’t mean that it is worth watching.

Just because I look like the back end of a baboon, doesn’t mean that you have to confirm the fact.

Just because you are a pop star, doesn’t mean that your message about the world is correct.

Just because I live in Manchester, doesn’t mean that I support Manchester United.

Just because I have a job, doesn’t mean that I have to like it.

Just because you like cigarettes, doesn’t mean that I have to inhale your second hand smoke.

Just because a film won an Oscar, doesn’t mean that it is any good.

Just because you fancy me, doesn’t mean you can have me.

Just because you are American, doesn’t mean that you live in the greatest country in the world.

Just because you speak business bullshit, doesn’t mean that you are making any sense to anybody.

Just because I think Ashley Cole is a good footballer, doesn’t mean that I have to like him.

Just because something seems impossible, doesn’t mean that it actually is.

Just because they are a member of the royal family, doesn’t mean that they deserve my respect.

Just because I support Walsall football club, doesn’t mean that I know nothing about football.

Just because it offends one person, doesn’t mean it should be removed.

Just because politicians say it, doesn’t mean it is true.

Just because I don’t like opera, doesn’t mean that I have the musical taste of a retarded slug.

Just because I disagree with you, doesn’t mean that I hate you.

Just because I am smiling, doesn’t mean that I am happy.

Just because I think tattoos are a bad idea, doesn’t mean that I am totally uncool.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean that you should.

Just because you think you are perfect, doesn’t mean that you are.

Just because I am old, doesn’t mean I am stupid.

Just because I don’t like Shakespeare, doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate good literature.

Just because Jordan is all over the tabloid newspapers, doesn’t mean that she has any talent to speak of.

Just because somebody gets angry over global warming, doesn’t mean that it actually exists.

Just because you are popular, doesn’t mean that I have to like you.

Just because I have a problem, doesn’t mean that I have to go on the Jeremy Kyle show to discuss it in front of a screaming crowd.

Just because I’m a Libran, doesn’t mean that I am indecisive (or does it?).

Just because I want to dress in scruffy clothes, doesn’t mean I am a slob.

Just because somebody wins X Factor, doesn’t mean that they deserve to be number one at Christmas.

Just because I’m old, doesn’t mean that I can’t act like an immature arsehole when I feel the need to.

Just because Piers Morgan has a show in America, doesn’t mean that he is any good at interviewing.

Just because are a politician, doesn’t mean that you are above the law.

Just because I am fascinated by vampires, doesn’t mean that I am some kind of nocturnal weirdo.

Just because I rant, doesn’t mean that I am unhappy.

Just because I’m feeling down, doesn’t mean that you can make me suddenly “snap out of it” by saying “pull yourself together”.

Just because I call myself the Plastic Mancunian, doesn’t mean that I am a weirdo.

Well maybe it does!

8 comments:

River said...

Halfway through that list the words "just because" started sounding weird inside my head.

Kath Lockett said...

Need a cyber hug, Plas Man?

Here's mind: Just because you didn't put the rubbish there doesn't mean you can't help pick it up and improve things.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi River,

That is weird. But when I was writing it, I actually said to Mrs PM

"Just because you made tea last night, doesn't mean I have to do it."

Ill chosen words...

:0)

Cheers

PM

The Plastic Mancunian said...

G'Day Kath,

Hugs are always welcome - unless the hugger is Jeremy Kyle, Jordan or Piers Morgan.

:0)

Cheers

PM

The Elephant's Child said...

Thank you for dropping in on me. I thought I would return the favour. And will be back. I loved your just becauses (well most of them). And it is nice to hear that there are clones of my cats out there. The vet is harassing us about Jazz though saying he has 'fat pads'. I wish mine were as elegant as his.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi EC,

"Fat Pads"? It's a bit simpler with mine fat cat - he has a fat belly!!!

:0)

Cheers

PM

drb said...

Welcome back, how was the China trip? Why did you call yourself PM?

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi drb,

China was actually quite fun - though work wise it was a little bit frustrating at times.

I call myself "Plastic Mancunian" because I live in Manchester but I don't actually come from there. Hence I am a "plastic" Mancunian.

I hope that makes sense.

:0)

Cheers

PM