Friday, 10 December 2010
Some things really make me cringe. I wince and want to curl up in a ball and scream. Such things make me want to run away, in some cases, making me feel quite ill in the process.
I thought, for a bit of fun, I would share them with you. However, when I started the list, it grew and grew and grew, which leads me to conclude that it is surprisingly easy to make me cringe.
I have therefore cut down the list, dear reader, for your benefit (and mine if I'm honest). Here it is:
Men with long hair who are bald.
Old men who wear thongs.
Fat people who wear tight clothes.
Young men who snog pensioners
Two intertwined forks (they make my teeth itch)
Men who urinate on the toilet seat
People who don’t flush the toilet
Old women with enormous breasts who insist on sunbathing topless
Fingernails on a blackboard
Rolf Harris singing “Stairway to Heaven”
Every single “Just For Men” advert I have ever seen.
Watching operations on TV – even if they are not real.
Boy bands who call themselves “musicians”
People who clack spoons and forks on their teeth
People who crack their knuckles
The Bon Jovi lyric where he sings about “French kissing the morning”
People who think they can sing and clearly can’t.
Women who wear so much make-up they look like clowns
Large insects with hundreds of legs
A dentist drilling a tooth
That bloody Nokia ring tone that gives me mobile phone twitch.
Gordon Brown smiling
People who shout with food in their mouths
People who clap when the aircraft lands
David Brent’s antics in “The Office”
Reading something embarrassing – particularly if I wrote it
Women asking me deeply personal questions
People who say “nucular” instead of nuclear
That fracking “Go Compare” Advert on TV
British people who shout at foreigners because they think it makes them understand English.
Chewing gum stuck in somebody’s hair
Anything to do with touching eyes, bloodshot eyes, eyes popping out of sockets etc.
Old women who wear revealing dresses
Watching needles going into people’s arms
Whenever Boris Johnson opens his mouth
Footballers who are injured in their groin area
That fracking “BOGOF” advert
People throwing up
Bald men who comb their hair over
Slugs and snails
Men with long fingernails
People touching my PC monitor at work
Stepping into cat vomit
People who slap their mouths
The Christmas Coca Cola “Holidays are coming” advert.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I will save the rest for a future post - perhaps.
And now, over to you, dear reader.
What makes you cringe?