Sunday, 21 December 2008

Are People Really This Stupid????

I’ve always wondered just how stupid the human race is. I know that I’ve been stupid in the past, but the level of my stupidity is normal, that is, I make the same mistakes as most people.

However, I have discovered that there are people out there in all countries of the world for whom the word “stupid” would be a complement. These people are so brainless that manufacturers of certain products have had to add warnings so that these imbeciles do not actually harm themselves by using the product in an unsavoury way, thus harming themselves in the process and, I would guess, suing the manufacturers for not adding a suitable warning

Once again, I have surfed the internet on your behalf in order to illustrate how utterly and completely boneheaded some people actually are. I realise that there are many out there who believe that it is the manufacturers who are the thick ones, but if you take a closer look you can imagine “victims” of product misuse attempting to sue to hide their dumbness. As far as I know, all of the warnings below are genuine.

On a toner cartridge for a laser printer: Do not eat toner

Instructions on the label of a bottled drink: Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth

On a lottery ticket: Do not iron

On a birthday card for a one year old: Not suitable for children under 36 months

On flower pot: Houseplants are for ornamental use and not to be consumed

On cough medicine for children: Do not drive or operate machinery after use

On a hair colour box: Do not use as an ice cream topping

On a bag of peanuts: Warning: contains nuts

On a hair dryer: Do not use in the shower

Also on a hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping

On a toilet brush: Do not use orally

On a microwave oven: Do not use for drying pets

On a novelty rock garden: Warning: Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth

On a push chair: Warning: Remove infant before folding for storage

On a superman costume: Warning: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly

On a lighter: Do not expose flame to the face

On a box of sleeping pills: Warning: May cause drowsiness

On a TV remote control: Warning: Not dishwasher safe

On an electric cattle prod: For use on animals only

On an iPod shuffle: Warning: Do not eat iPod shuffe

On a bottle of pills for dogs: Use care when operating a car

On an iron: Do not iron clothes on the body

On a barbecue: Warning: this product gets hot

On a chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand or genitals

Also on a chainsaw: Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw

And my favourite:

On a blowtorch: Not to be used for drying hair

I have a picture in my mind for all of them (I’m sorry, I can’t help it – I’m drawn to such things in a weird kind of way). I can imagine a woman with long hair trying to dry it using a blowtorch; I can picture a man discovering that the shirt he has just put on needs to be ironed; I can picture a man leaping off a tall building in a Superman cape.

Anyway, I must go. I need to round up the cats with my new cattle prod.

19 comments:

Pastilan said...

Very funny :)

EuroYank said...

Most Americans are really stupid, and the USA ranks almost last in education among the developed countries. But all is not lost, Europeans are on top and we want Americans to be stupid.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

I don't think it's just Americans. For example, the "nuts" one comes from England and the chainsaw one comes from Sweden.

But it's scary that these warning signs have to be added

:-/

Cheers

PM

Saint Lover said...

OMG that has to be one of the funniest things I have read in awhile... too bad they are all true. People really are that stupid...

Thanks for the monday morning giggle!

HawaiianPun said...

Do you really think this one is real: "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand or genitals"? I just can't bring myself believe that any product -- even a British product -- would feel the need to explain to people that they shouldn't put their fun bits near a rotating saw blade.

Pia K said...

LOL, oh it's the American suing-business that's to blame for this, I'm sure. Though I do like EuroYanks comment above...:)

If I must pick favourite/s it'll be the toilet brush that shouldn't be used orally and the hair colouring kit that shouldn't be used as ice cream topping - although I suspect if you've done tha latter despite warning the toilet brush would somehow come handy for oral use.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Saint Lover,

Yes - I too fear that people are that stupid.

Funny :-)

but a little sad

:-/

Never mind. Sometimes its good to laugh at idiocy :-)

Cheers

PM

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi HawaiianPun,

I don't know - could be an urban myth. I think I'd need to double check with a Swede.

The thought makes my eyes water though

:-)

Cheers

PM

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Pia,

Yes - the toilet brush one conjures up a pure comedy image. I tried to find one but sadly couldn't.

May be worth another search though.

:-)

Cheers

PM

Brian said...

Gah! It scares me if anyone would even think about putting a chainsaw near their genitals.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

I know, Brian. I've replayed the image over and over in my head and each time it it ends in tears.

I really do wonder ...

No - perhaps I'd better not go there.

:-)

Cheers

PM

virgomonkey said...

I've eaten printer toner before. It's actually not that bad!

Anyway, those warnings are there in the US to prevent lawsuits due to our frivolous lawsuit sub-culture. While the minority, companies will do anything to not get sued.

Really, try printer toner. It's good with Japanese seaweed and sake.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Thanks for the tip VM :-)

I relaise that these warnings exist to prevent lawsuits - it's getting that way in the UK as well.

I think I would require a lot of sake to rid myself of the taste of toner.


:-)

Cheers

PM

cube said...

I think those warnings are more about litigiousness than stupidity. People play dumb in order to sue the deepest pockets.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Thanks cube - but I know that I wouldn't position a chainsaw anywhere near to my genitalia - no matter what the reward

:-/

Cheers

PM

Jane Doe said...

Absolutely hilarious! Those warnings always crack me up cuz you know they're there cuz some idiot did that exact thing then tried to sue the company for it.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi JAne,

That's what worries me. I'm sure there are people who read this warnings and think "mmm never thought of that" - if they can read of course.

Cheers

PM

earthtoholly said...

Well thank goodness that Lucy got through her recent round of antibiotics without once asking for the car keys... Funny post! :o)

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Lucy can read? Lucy can open a box of pills?

She really is a clever dog ...

:-)

Cheers

PM